The Awkwardness of Office Secret Santa

It's December which means its holiday season. With the holidays comes many traditions I love, and one that always makes me nervous: office secret Santa. Now, don't get me wrong. I like giving gifts, I like doing gift exchanges. And I love the general feel of the holiday season. The one thing I don't love is when the gift exchange/secret Santa happens in a work environment.

I feel like the best way to explain my awkwardness and anxiety would be to back up a little bit and do some explaining. I'm 25, meaning I just started my career. I'm still at my first full-time, "real person" job. And the office secret Santa means I have to buy a gift for someone I know, yes, but also someone I work with. In a secret Santa exchange among friends, I know the person better and I've got a better feel for how they think and what they like. I do work in a small office, so I know almost everyone, with the exception of one employee who works remote and I've never actually met. However, knowing someone in a work setting is much different from knowing them in general. Adding to my anxiety is the fact that many of the people I work with have been working together for years. Two of the more senior staff members have worked together for over forty years. I know my coworkers, but not that well, having only worked there for less than a year.

I happened to get very lucky since the person who's name I drew is someone I sort of know well. By "sort of well" I mean that I was able to weed out a few ideas of things she might not like. I was terrified that I was going to draw the name of either one of the heads of the company, or someone I rarely speak to. However, even knowing my giftee didn't improve on my anxiety. I spent days looking through articles and posts about what to get my office secret Santa. I didn't want to get her something specifically for the office, as that seemed a little lame. I also didn't want to try and get anything that was too specific, like something with the logo of her favorite sports team on it, because I wasn't convinced that I would pick the right team. Lastly, I didn't want to get anything too basic or easy. Giving someone a mug with their first initial is fine as part of a gift, but not the whole gift. Gift cards take almost no work.

I suppose my anxiety about this topic comes from not wanting to give a "bad" gift. What is a "bad" gift, you may ask? I really don't have a concrete idea. I suppose in this context, it would be a gift that looks like I didn't put any thought into it, or one that doesn't fit the giftee's personality well. Now, deep down, I know that the woman I'm buying a gift for will appreciate whatever gift I get for her as long as its thoughtful. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met and I honestly don't feel like the point of Secret Santa is to somehow one-up everyone else in my office. Rationally, I know that. Emotionally, I'm just worried about looking stupid or seeming like I don't care.

So, with what I know about the person who's name I picked, a $20 gift limit and everything I mentioned above, what did I get her? A scarf. I bought her a scarf made out of a really soft fabric and the color will look good on her and bring out the color her eyes.

This experience has taught me exactly one thing: I need to get to know my coworkers a little bit better to avoid getting this stressed next year.